Lets try this again...

I seem to cause trouble when I keep a journal, but I've been asked to start again by someone whos opinion I respect. I'm weary of it. Anyone who reads this, know that I'm posting MY THOUGHTS, some random, some spiteful, some hurtful, in a panic, with happiness, with sorrow, in a fit of rage, etc, etc, etc. If I have a problem with you, I WILL TELL YOU DIRECTLY, I don't play the internet game of hit and run arguing to what is basically a bulletin board. DON'T READ THIS if you can't handle my spewing. It's going to help me keep control and give me a way to look back and understand again what the emotions were behind my actions MONTHS and YEARS from now. As it is I deleted all prior entries, so if you've actually seen my journal in the past week, SURPRISE, we're starting over. EVERYONE needs a fresh start from time to time. Use this to try and understand me and my ways and my actions, thats the point of a not-so-private journal, right?!

SUBWAY, best shit in the world. After 7 weeks of dieting with a very LOW carb count daily, I'm down 23 Pounds. Not bad huh? It's only 6 weeks if I can take back Thanksgiving week. Thats fair, right? Call me Jarid... KNOW WHAT, LOTS OF SEX HELPS YOU LOSE WEIGHT, IT'S COOL! I've eaten so much pu... nevermind. Point is both my Jessamine and I are down double digits and we attribute it to long suck and fuck sessions LMAO. Damn, I'm horny now...

Something that struck me as important...

Don't be so hard on yourself.
Those tears are for someone else.
I hear your voice on the phone.
I hear you feel so alone.
My baby.
Ohh my baby.
Please my baby,
My baby,
When we were young,
And truth was paramount.
We were older then,
And we lived our life without any doubt.
Those memories,
They seem so long ago.
What's become of them? When you feel like me I want you to know.
Don't cry.
You're not alone.
Don't cry,
Tonight, my baby.
Don't cry,
You'll always be loved.
Don't cry,
Tonight.
My baby.
Today I dreamed,
Of friends I had before.
And I wonder why.
The ones who care don't call anymore.
My feelings hurt.
But you know I overcome the pain.
And I'm stronger now,
There can't be a fire unless there's a flame.
Don't cry.
You're not alone.
Don't cry,
Tonight, my baby.
Don't cry.
You'll always be loved.
Don't cry oh...
Limousines and sycophants,
Don't leave me now,
Cause I'm afraid what you've done to me.
Is now the wolf.
In my bed,
In my head.
In my head.
In my head.
The challenges, we took were hard enough.
They get harder now.
Even when we think that we've had enough.
Don't feel alone,
Cause it's I you understand.
I'm your sedative,
Take a piece of me whenever you can.
Don't cry.... you're not alone.
...don't be so hard on yourself...
Don't cry.... tonight my baby
...Those tears are for.....someone else...
Don't cry.... you'll always be loved
...I hear your voice on the phone...
Don't cry.... tonight sweet baby
...I hear you feel... so alone.
Don't cry... don't cry... don't cry... don't you cry...
Cry... Don't cry...
Cause you still be loved
Don't cry
Don't cry tonight
Ohh..
My baby my baby my baby my baby my baby my baby my baby
my baby my baby my my baby my baby my baby my baby mymy baby my baby my baby
My baby....
Don't cry tonight
You'll still be loved
"Seal- Don't Cry"

Feel good times...

It's Christmas, and I'm listening to Christmas music. First for me in a long while, we're talking years. My faith in life is sorta restored. There are good points, but I actually feel lucky this time around. Don't ever take friends and family for granted, you'll feel so hollow inside when you move, or lose them, like I did. No more, thanks for the reminder Jizz Chin =P

One more thing, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME IN CLASS! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO TALK SILENTLY WHEN YOU SIT IN THE FRONT ROW?! LOL