Maybe I'm just a screw up

Well, isn't this a lovely situation that's been brewing, without my knowledge. Well, mostly without it. I ignored my gut again. I really need to stop doing that. I didn't want to go out to dinner, or give JC a newspaper from here, or anything. I was dead in the water. I feel dead. Now all I need is someone to finish me off.

I've made her feel like shit, because of my actions. I thought I was obeying the rules; 1)Don't fuck or mess with other chicks, 2)Ask the important questions, 3)always say you love them, 4)Show them you love them, 5)Concede when it's not an issue worth fighting over, 6)Never go to bed angry, 7)I'm honest. SO WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE FEEL THAT I'M NOT TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS? And yes, we have a lot of sex, it's good too, she always gets at least 3 to every 1 orgasm of mine, and thats on a BAD night. Usually 5-10 is normal for an hour... ANYWAY, now that I've posted WAY too much information...

There are too many things to list that she's not happy about. I'm a giving person, that's the biggest problem. I give time and energy to the people I love, and now I find out she gets angry and hurt when I give time to friends. What should I do, get back under my rock and pretend the world is made only of her, work, and school? I can't live with just one person as my everything. There will be MANY times in my life when I go to be with friends that need and ask for me. Many nights where I don't sleep till after a long phone call to talk to someone that counts on me. I wouldn't change a thing! I like it, it makes me happy. My friends do the same for me, I won't give that up.

Why can't she just be happy to have such a nice guy as a BF, why do I have to take heat for being a great friend? I'm doing this RIGHT, I'm sure of it. If I'm wrong, I'll be at home alone miserable for who knows how long. Would anyone else want me, EVER? I don't bring anything but a lack of looks and an overly nice way of treating women to the dating pool. I'm the guy that makes other guys look more appealing.

At least Jess and I got a lunch in together this afternoon, one of only 3 times in a year that we've been able to do that. It was ok, we talked some about things, but the problems remain, and there will be more conflict. Cross your fingers.