I was actually kinda happy till just now

I know why I am where I am. I know I can't be talked to about everything. I can't be like your mom, because this isn't anything like that. This isn't about commitment to a single person for the rest of your life. This isn't anything like that. I doubt she'd handle this situation like she handled that one. I know you want me to stand by you, and believe it or not I do. No matter what I think I can't tell you to stop. I can't be around when he is either. It sickens me, in the pit of my stomach. I don't need to argue with you about it or have another night where we end up shouting, I've never needed to shout it, now that I think about it. Just know I do love you always my friend, even if I'm not the friend you deserve.

If you have a reason, you don't need to shout. -Zen proverb