(no subject)

Long day it feels like... and we're ending it by being paged for a missing aircraft in So Cal. I've got my roster ready, and a crew, so now we sit and wait to be dispatched.

Me, a firefighter... I just thought about that a few days ago, thinking of being called a fireman... Even if it's just as an EMT as I train on firefighting with a volunteer department... Talk about a childhood dream, and 9/11 memory... all merging. Yeah, I could get used to this =)

JC is hurting, I can tell. A few words from a phone call today sorta hit her hard. I'm trying to keep my distance and just be there for her as needed. My friend hurts, so I do too. What can I say, I'm just a big lovable fuzzball. I don't know any other way to be. My closest friends hurt, or worry, and I get on edge and want to be available to them. That's just me.

Dinner at Olive Garden was yummmyyyy, Jess had fun, so did I. Food was good too, but I still prefer my sausage/peppers... mmmmmmmm. NIGHT!

One more thing...

About a week ago I talked about being an asshole 4 years ago and still being one, just mature enough to contain it... I'm not the same asshole anymore I don't think. Part of me just seems to have grown up. I can still make mistakes no doubt, but I don't use people that care about me. I only did that to one person and BELIEVE ME I KNOW IT WAS DUMB AND A MISTAKE AND ALL I CAN SAY IS I WAS A KID THEN. I was 19/20 then. I'm 24 now. I think I'm doing ok. That's all, just wanted to blurt that out LOL =)