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The truth...
Jan. 13th, 2009 12:21 pmI'm exposed, and it feels good.
No, that's not a sick joke. It's me, my insides, my secrets. They're OUT, and it feels good. But it's not how it should've happened.
Yes, I'm hurt and upset, and embarrassed. And I earned every bit of it for my chickens are simply coming home to roost.
Years ago, I ran from someone because I was a chickenshit. A couple years later, I was feeling like I was the fool, and I, in a stupid moment, with someone I had always had attraction to, crossed some lines and it wasn't what I should've done.
Years after that, I hear bigger rumors, and I know what I thought all along was probably true. I decide to get pay-back. I do it, and I wanted to die because I knew what I really wanted and now I had crossed ALL lines and you can never take it back.
I'm feeling very alone and figuring out as best I can why I'm all fucked up in my head.
I ask, from my best friend, from my former lover and the person I shared my dreams with, for their forgiveness because I can NEVER, EVER repay the debt I incurred with them emotionally.
For what they did to me that I do or don't know about, they're forgiven. Have a happy heart ladies. We only live once. Enough of this.
I love them both now more than ever. No more secrets. For the first time in a long time, I'm not hiding SHIT. It feels good.
Does anyone want to ask me a question? I'm tired of hiding. Anyone want to pry into my life? I'll tell you anything you want to know. I don't care how you found my entry. I don't care who you are.
Who's first?
No, that's not a sick joke. It's me, my insides, my secrets. They're OUT, and it feels good. But it's not how it should've happened.
Yes, I'm hurt and upset, and embarrassed. And I earned every bit of it for my chickens are simply coming home to roost.
Years ago, I ran from someone because I was a chickenshit. A couple years later, I was feeling like I was the fool, and I, in a stupid moment, with someone I had always had attraction to, crossed some lines and it wasn't what I should've done.
Years after that, I hear bigger rumors, and I know what I thought all along was probably true. I decide to get pay-back. I do it, and I wanted to die because I knew what I really wanted and now I had crossed ALL lines and you can never take it back.
I'm feeling very alone and figuring out as best I can why I'm all fucked up in my head.
I ask, from my best friend, from my former lover and the person I shared my dreams with, for their forgiveness because I can NEVER, EVER repay the debt I incurred with them emotionally.
For what they did to me that I do or don't know about, they're forgiven. Have a happy heart ladies. We only live once. Enough of this.
I love them both now more than ever. No more secrets. For the first time in a long time, I'm not hiding SHIT. It feels good.
Does anyone want to ask me a question? I'm tired of hiding. Anyone want to pry into my life? I'll tell you anything you want to know. I don't care how you found my entry. I don't care who you are.
Who's first?
